Almost all my life I have been in hostels. Right from school, all through college. So the major part of my life has been around friends and teachers. But I am glad my parents were able to influence me (though they were very far away) through prayers, by writing to me regularly and also they tried to make up for what they missed out during the vacations.
My early childhood was influenced to a great extent by my teachers at school. There were rules laid down that we had to live by, which probably didn’t make sense then but then we ended up obeying them just to avoid getting into trouble over it. We had wonderful, committed teachers in my school who knew they were responsible for the kids who were under them and tried everything possible to bring us up in the best possible way, trying their best to bring us up like a parent would.
Teachers, I guess, are in the hardest profession today and Dorm wardens, in a harder one. Almost always, we realize the good they meant only after we have left the place and by then we are away and they have to deal with a whole new bunch of kids (in many cases brutes, including me J ).
Though they tried everything to take our parents place and do the best for us, there is one big difference. We obeyed them because we had to. Because when we didn’t and were caught we ended up in a soup. So just for things to go good, we obeyed, even if we didn’t want to one bit. We had to obey for the fear of getting into trouble with them.
But that was not the case with my parents. When I got back home during vacations, we had rules at home as well. I could not watch TV late night. We were not allowed to roam around in hot sun. We had to be back home by a certain time in the evenings. There were times I didn’t want to stick by these rules and wanted to do things my way. And when I rebelled, needless to say, I did get into trouble. Here’s where the difference is. I didn’t want to get into trouble with them because I loved my parents. When I was punished, it hurt them more than it hurt me and I could see that. I loved them and I knew I hurt them whenever I disobeyed. And so I mostly chose to obey because I loved.
That was not the case with my hostel wardens. I just obeyed because I had to and more with a sense of remorse. But I obeyed my parents because I loved them and I knew they were hurt when I did something wrong or when I didn’t behave the way I should have. I don’t say that I always obeyed them. I did disobey and rebel and ofcourse had to bear the after effects as well. But it was different with parents. I’m sure those of us who have been in hostels would say the same and get the feel of what I am trying to say.
One of my friends was sharing with me today what God had taught her as she was reading through Deuteronomy chapter 11. In the first verse, God says to Love God and to Obey Him. She said that she noticed that the emphasis here was on loving him and obeying Him. God didn’t say to the Israelites to just obey. He wanted a lot more than that. He wanted a relationship, a family. Where His children knew that He loved them and loved Him in return. He wanted obedience but He wanted obedience out of love.
Here are the exact words my friend had mailed – “Love and Obey. Loving God first will only lead to obedience. Even in the OT (Old Testament of the Bible) with all those laws the people were called first to love Him and then obey Him. Stress is on loving God.”
God is looking for a relationship of love with us. Probably most of us are pretty obedient and good. But what drives us? Is it just a sense of excellence or a sense of accomplishment or just to look good before others? God wants love for Him to be the driving force in our lives. Just like our parents would look on us with pride and happiness when we are obedient, He does as well. Our loving matters to Him. He does not want a warden –child relationship. He wants a parent – child relationship. A relationship where we obey Him because we love Him. Our love matters to Him.
Deuteronomy 11:1 - Therefore you shall love the lord your god and keep his charge, his statutes, his precepts, and his commandments always.
A very good article. God Bless.
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