Provoking Peninah

Today evening something happened that upset me a great deal. I felt so heartbroken and numb. I started sharing about what had happened to one of my best friends on chat. She was really understanding and very sweet and tried her best to make me feel better. But though she was nice, I still continued to feel really bad and I felt I had to take it to God but though my spirit was willing my body was weak.

Even after I logged off chat, I didn’t start praying. I just tried to busy myself in household chores. I hurried around doing the dishes, laundry. But I was still upset and I knew I was beginning to feel depressed as well. Tears were beginning to well up. I knew I had to go to God before I got more upset and broken.

I shut myself in our guest room. I knelt but could not pray. Tears just kept rolling down my cheeks. God understood, of that I was sure but I could not pray. I took out a song book and thought I would just sing a few songs. The important thing was to spend time at God’s feet.
I went to the last song in the song book and started singing whatever songs I knew and felt like singing. Initially I couldn’t sing but as I began singing, God began ministering to me through the songs. After about half an hour of singing, I realized I wasn’t crying anymore and my heart felt so light. I continued singing and God was still ministering to me but now I was also worshipping God with each song. This went on for about an hour and a half. My heart was light again. The problem remained but my focus has shifted from the problem to God.

I thought of reading the Bible for some time. I was reading from 1 Samuel 1 about Elkanah’s two wives – Hannah and Peninah. Hannah was loved more but didn’t have any children.

1 Samuel 1: 5 But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the LORD had closed her womb.

We don’t know what exactly turned Peninah against Hannah but we see that Peninah kept provoking her to irritate her. Verse 7 says Peninah provoked her till she wept. This would mean that probably the first time Peninah provoked her, Hannah probably just replied back. The second time maybe she just smiled and then maybe she tried to ignore but this went on and on till Hannah wept. Peninah provoked her till she wept.

Now the important question is how did Hannah handle this? We don’t know if she went to her husband for comfort but the Bible says in verse 8 that her husband did try to make her feel better and he was being real sweet and understanding but that didn’t help Hannah.
Hannah takes the matter to God. She cries herself out to God. She pours herself out to God. She was bitter with sorrow. All that provoking had had its effect on her. But Hannah took the matter in the right way. She took it to God.

1 Samuel 1: 10 - In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD.

There were two things that God taught me from this passage.

One, Peninah’s provoking led to Prayer and not to anger. Hannah prayed much with tears. Such prayers move the heart of God. Some of us may have provoking Peninahs in our lives or maybe life itself has becomes one big provoking Peninah. Something or the other is constantly being thrown at you. You try everything but then it just keeps provoking you till it breaks you down and you’re left in tears. How do you react? Does it cause you to be angry with the person? Do you get bitter about life itself? Or like Hannah do you take it to God? Let all provokes lead you to prayer. This has two advantages. One, you’re not angry. Two, God will remove the influence the provoke could have on you or on your life.

Two, this led to the birth of a great leader, Samuel. Since Hannah took all that negativity in the right way, God turned it into something so beautiful. Samuel is one of the greatest leaders in the Bible. It’s almost like how a pearl is formed. A stone gets into the oyster and keeps irritating it, till one day all that irritation converts a worthless stone into a beautiful pearl. If taken to God, all that provoking and irritation can give birth to a beautiful Pearl… to a great Samuel in your life. For a Samuel to be born, a provoking Peninah had to be there.
So next time you are provoked don’t give in to the anger. Take all your sadness and tears and rush to God and pour it out to Him and God will convert all that provoking into something very beautiful.

Ecclesiastes 7:9 - Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.
James 5: 16b - The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working].

IMPOSSIBLE SITUATIONS

At some point or the other in our lives we are faced with situations which I would like to call the ‘Impossible Situations’. Situations where you cannot turn this way or that. Situations which don’t seem to have a solution. Situations where your choices are the frying pan and the fire. Situations where you feel you are stuck and it looks like things can only get worse after this. In an impossible situation, man can do nothing. It’s an impossible situation, remember.

Well the good news is – With God all things are possible.

There are a few things God has been teaching me which I thought would be a good idea to share.

1. Keep the Vision
Jacob works for Laban, his uncle, who tries to make him work without giving him his wages. Since Jacob asks for all the specked and spotted goats as his wages, Laban, being the shrewd person he is, removes all the male spotted goats and female goats and keeps them separately so that they don’t breed and Jacob does not get his wages. There is no way Jacob can get his wages now.

This turns out to be an impossible situation for Jacob.

It’s interesting to see how Jacob handles this situation. He takes branches from poplar, almond and plane trees and makes white stripes on them by peeling the bark and exposing the white inner wood of the branches. He then places these in front of the flock.

He places the VISION of speckled and spotted in front of plain goats.

All of us have our visions, our dreams. It could be something that we desire to do or something God has put in our hearts or something God spoke to us about. We all have our dreams we hold onto. Don’t let go of the dreams God gave you. When faced with an impossible situation, Keep your dreams and vision in front of you. So that every time you eat or drink or work or rest you dream is always there before you.

Jacob placed the vision in front of the speckled goats and God works out a miracle and the plain goats gave birth to speckled goats.

Joseph held onto to the dream God gave him. His brothers were envious of him, he was sold as a slave, lies were told about him, was thrown into the prison….. But through it all, he held on to his dreams. And God brought his dreams to reality and lifted him high and honored him.

Hold on to the dreams God gave you. Irrespective of whatever is happening in your life today. Irrespective of what the world has to say. Don’t see things as they are in the present. See through the eyes of faith and See what God has in store for you. Hold on to the vision God gave you and God WILL work a miracle for you.

2. Look Up
Abraham and Lot’s herdsmen had strife about where their livestock would feed. When Abraham comes to know about this he asks Lot to choose whichever land he wanted and he would take whatever was remaining. Lot looks around and chose the green land. After Lot had departed, Abraham Looked Up. He Looked Up to God.

When caught up in impossible situations, Look Up to God. Spend time in prayer, pouring your heart out to God. If you don’t feel like sitting at one place and praying, you could pray as you walk, as you go about your chores. Stay connected to God and pour your heart out to Him. And read God’s word to see what He has to say to you.

Don’t look at the situation. Don’t look at the people who put you in the problem. Don’t look up at any human being for help. Look Up to God alone.

God says to Abraham in Genesis 13: 14 to look to the north, south, east, west and God promises to give him all the land his eyes could see. When we decide to Look Up then God comes into the impossible situation and blesses us.

3. Stop Looking Around (Keep On Looking Up)
Sometimes though we start with Looking Up, somewhere along the way, our focus shifts to the situation around us. This can bring us down and depress us. But we need to remember to shift our focus back to God and Keep on Looking Up.

When Jesus came walking on the water, Peter jumped into the water boldly to walk towards Jesus but somewhere along the way, his focus shifts to the waves and the storm around him and he begins to sink. This is exactly what happens when we look at the storm around us. Just keep looking at God. Once Peter shifted his gaze towards Jesus, he was able to walk again.

God promises Abraham a son but Abraham looks at Sarah and begins to doubt. He has a son through Hagar but God as he promised gives him a son through Sarah.

When God says something He will keep his word, stop looking around and keep your focus on God. Look Up and see what God has promised you through the eyes of faith. Don’t look around and see the present.

In Impossible Situations the only person who can get you through is God. So roll your problems onto him and don’t worry about it. Just hold on to your vision and keep your focus on God. Stay connected to God by talking to Him always and hearing his voice. And in an impossible situation always remember – With God all things are possible.

Matthew 19:26 - Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
Mark 10: 27- Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”

Happy Wedding Anniversary, Sweetheart !!

When I was about 13 years old, there was a lady who spoke to us kids about how we need to pray about everything, including our future, and specifically the qualities we wanted in the guy we would someday marry. She said we could also make a list and ask God specifically the kind of person you would want to marry. So I took a piece of paper and wrote down my list and started praying about it too. After about a week, when I went through my list, I didn't quite agree with it and wanted a few changes. So I removed a few points and added some and made changes to some. And then after a few days, again I found that I wanted to make a few more changes. And this went on, till the paper was full of cuts and updates and it was time to bring in a new sheet and write down a fresh list. And again like before, this was followed by updates and updates and then a new list again..... And all the time my list changed, so did my prayers :)

Eventually I grew up and around the time I got married, I still had a list with me, which was almost completely different from that first list I had made. God brought this amazing guy into my life, who had some of those qualities that my list had, but didn't quite comply with most of the points on that list.

Jerry is probably the most amazing human being I have met. There is not a day that goes by, when I haven't thanked God for bringing someone so perfectly 'right' in my life. Whenever I look into his eyes, my heart always sends out a silent 'Thank you' to God. In every sense, he is the perfect guy for me. He has the right level of maturity, right 'sense of humor' level and the right 'being serious' level, the right level of understanding, the right level of being easy and the right level of being firm. Oh.... He fits the words 'Mr. Right' to the tee. I keep telling my family, relatives, friends that I am married to the best husband in this world and know what? Most of them agree with me. I'm incredibly blessed to be married to someone so wonderful, loving, caring, sensible..... okay I got to stop here or would just go on and on. In short - Jerry is everything I could wish for and more.

But remember, Jerry didn't match my list. God didn't give me what I thought I wanted. Because God knew me better. God knew 'my list' better than me. So while I was praying with some 'forever changing' list, God was working on my dear husband according to 'His list'.

If not the kind of list I had, you may have some list that you have put before God. Just imagine, what if God had answered the prayer I made with my first list. What a disaster that would have been. If God does not answer our prayers, it’s for our own good and blessing. With our '13 year old' brain the best that we can come up with is just a silly list. Boy! I can't thank God enough for not sticking to my list. We sometimes need to thank God for not answering our prayers.

God didn't give me my list...... He gave me more.... a great deal more..... Give your list to God. But don't worry when you don't get your list, cos God has a great deal more.....

And today as we complete another beautiful, happy and blessed year of being together, there is no doubt about this, God's list proved to be the best. Like God's word says - More than you ask or imagine.....

And to the most amazing guy in the world - Happy Wedding Anniversary, Sweetheart.


Ephesians 3:20 (AMP) - Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]--

MY WAY Vs. GOD’s WAY

Last night my husband came back from a ‘not so great’ day at work. He is usually not the kind of person who likes to talk or discuss about his problems He usually talks about the problem only after he has handled it and it’s sorted. He’s quiet when something is wrong and that’s my cue to know the fact that my husband is upset about something. But he does look up to me a lot to support him by praying for him.

Yesterday was different in the sense that he seemed to want to talk about it. This was a welcome change cos you see the way we women were created we feel a certain pride when someone trusts us to talk about their problems with us. So as I was cooking dinner, my husband just came and helped me around as he was telling me about his day and how things didn’t work out as expected. I know Jerry is very systematic and passionate about what he does and that he had worked during weekends and late nights for this particular meeting and I felt bad for him and all I could say was – 'we’ll pray and everything will be alright.'

Today morning my bible portion was about handling adversity and the important role ‘Faith’ played in our lives, in our relationship with God, in living a successful life and in being a good human being.

I was sharing with my husband about what I had learnt this morning. In fact for the last few days I had this same kind of reading where the same truth was taught to me in different ways.
There are two ways we can go about doing something. One is our way of, let’s say, handling a project. And another is God’s way of handling the same project. Undoubtedly, God’s way is way beyond better than our way. Here is where Faith plays an important role. Faith is that key that allows God to handle the project in His way. Okay let me explain this in a better way.

Sometimes when we are very efficient and creative and hardworking and have all the knowledge required, we became so easily confident in what we do, which is a good thing. But then it’s not like we think we don’t need God’s help but just that we forget to ask for God to help. So here we trust on our own work and efforts. No matter what, things can go wrong and as humans there is no insurance against that. When we cannot handle something and are weak it’s easy to ask God for help but when we are very good at something and have done a great job handling it and got good appreciations, at such times we begin to believe that we are great at this and then we forget to ask God for help or to rely on Him and be confident in God.

One, we can do it with all the resources and help and the efficiency that we have. The second and the better way of doing something is, by putting in your best but then praying about it to God and surrendering it in God’s hands so that He would take what we have done and bless it and make it hundred, thousand fold more. Remember the story of the 5 loaves of bread and 2 fishes. Exactly the same.

Now in the scenario that we begin to get real good at what we do and forget to take God’s help, we do our best and not God’s best. Sometimes we are even satisfied and happy with that but the good news is that, God isn’t satisfied with that. He wants to take our intelligence and creativity and hard work and bless it (again like the 5 loaves and 2 fishes) and make something very beautiful out of it. So when we forget to ask God for help, when we forget to rely on God, when we forget to put our ‘Faith’ in God, God loves us too much to just let us be like that. So sometimes He has to remind us to rely on Him. He has to remind us to put our ‘Faith’ in Him so that we cross over from just doing a good job to doing a good job and having God bless it into many times more.

My husband is looking into what needs to be sorted and set things right and he’s going to do a good job at that but I am sure this time he is definitely going to put things in God’s hands and ask for His blessings. And things will go God’s way, which is the safest and the most blessed way.
Proverbs 3:5, 6 (AMP)- Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.
In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.

My Father's Love

I am just back after spending a couple of weekends with my parents. I love the way we (my siblings and I) relate to them. They are more our friends than just two grown up adults. They have always maintained that I have been a rebellious kid. Someone who always wanted to have her way with everything. Whenever they advise me and if I don’t agree I have had the freedom to argue it out, fight it out, give my opinion…. And still be loved with the same love; still be welcome into a warm hug. They don’t put me in a scenario where I have to obey them just because they are my parents. They don’t sulk or push me aside when I haven’t done things the way they wanted me to. They have always given my happiness, my future the topmost priority. There are times when I have heard them say that I was right. Maybe I was right in one out of fifty scenarios but I love them for not forcing their decision on me the 49 times I was wrong but for willing to listen to me, willing to hear my arguments, willing to listen to someone much younger to them, willing to wait, willing to pray, willing to so selflessly sacrifice to see their daughter happy. And when I was right, willing to say that they were wrong though they are much older and much wiser. I love them and respect them immensely and am yet to see better parents than them. They’re not perfect, they do make mistakes as parents … but one thing they never stop doing is love me and want my happiness.


Today morning as I sat watching Joyce Meyer on television, she preached about us having God’s DNA. Since we are His children, we have his DNA. We are created to be like Him, to walk like Him, to talk like Him. I loved that message and my mind travelled to my earthly father and his love for me. My father becomes a kid when he is with us. He would make funny noises, act silly, do funny actions, make us laugh. He isn’t this way with everyone. He becomes a different person when he is with us. At the same time when any of us is upset, he would pamper us so much that you feel so loved and so special. Whenever I sulked, Dad would pamper and fuss over me so much till I was laughing and happy again. We are five kids, but there has never been a time when I felt I was one among five kids. I have always been loved and been so specially held and cherished like I was their only kid. I am sure my brothers and sister, each feel the same way I do.


This is very very small reflection of my Heavenly Father’s love for me. We sometimes think of God as one serious person who has this rule book. There have been people who have told me they wished they had a dad like mine. Well, the good news is that we all have a much better dad than my earthly dad. Someone who loves us so much. Someone to whom our laughter means the world. Someone who would say funny things, do funny things just to bring a smile on our face. Someone who’s heart breaks when he sees our tears. Someone who flies into a rage when people hurt us. Someone who watches out for us. Someone who wants us to obey him, not out of force but out of love. Someone to whom our happiness means more than His life.


Someone who could give his life, his every drop of blood to pay our ransom price.


I am blessed to have such a good and wonderful person as my earthly father. But I think what makes me more blessed and fortunate is that I have my Heavenly Father. In spite of the millions in this world, I know I am loved, held special and cherished like I am His only child. And I also know, it is this way with each of His children. I know He looks down on me with pride and love every time He sees me smile. And when I am upset, all I need to do is switch my mind off the problems and think about His love, and my heart and my face cannot help but smile at my Father’s love.


Thank you, heavenly father for the immense immense love you have for me…. And thank you for the amazing dad you have blessed me with.


1 John 3:1a - How great is the love the Father has lavished on us (NIV)
1John 3:1a - SEE WHAT [[a]an incredible] quality of love the Father has given (shown, bestowed on) us

CRUSHED … BUT NOT DESTROYED

CRUSHED BUT NOT DESTROYED
16th Feb 2010

The Bible character that never fails to amaze me, next to Jesus of course, is Job. Here you see a man very successful, with great kids, doing extremely well in whatever is his occupation and shares a great relationship with His creator.

Great Going so far…….. until a storm with all its force hits hard. Hits his family, hits his occupation, hits his help…… and he is left with nothing.

All that he labored for all his life, has been snatched away…. He lost his kids…. His spouse advises him to curse God and die…. His friends are anything but friends. They have come to discourage him, break the little faith he has, crush the strength he has left….

And Job’s reaction to all this – ‘The Lord gave, the Lord took away. Praise be to His name’.

Crushed….. but not destroyed

You never know what life is going to throw at you. But you can be sure that God is in control. Life cannot throw anything at you without my Father’s permission. Know that God is in control. Know that God cares and watches. Know that the day of blessing will come when everything will be returned a doublefold.

My Dad who works for God in Bihar, lately has been through so much. Affliction upon affliction…. It breaks me to see the man I look up to for strength and support break down into tears and cry like a baby. He has had everything thrown at him. Every time things seemed to get better and he starts expecting, it was only to be broken and to leave him with more hurt and bruises.
Distressed after hearing more bad news yesterday, I called him. He couldn’t speak much as there was no electricity where he lives because of which his cell was almost out of battery. He spoke very short and hung up but not before telling me – ‘Beta, Parmeshwar Karega’ (Child, God will do)

Crushed…… but not destroyed

I sat in the car, filled with grief, while Dr, Dhinakaran’s songs sang in the CD player. And before he sang one of his songs, he spoke about being crushed but not destroyed. God spoke his comfort and love to me through this verse and I had to share this.

The world can hurt, kill, destroy….. but cannot shake the faith I have on my God. My God will come to my rescue. My God will fight for me till then I will trust and not grow weary. I will trust and not be destroyed.

The devil can blow an evil storm in my life. He can destroy anything he wants. But I will boldly look the storm in its face and say – You can crush me…. But NO, you CANNOT destroy me.
And to my Dad – Dad, you and Mom have taught me about God more than anyone I know. And you taught me more from your life, with your actions and your walk….than just words. I know your day of blessing is round the corner and everything will be returned a double fold.

2 Corinthians 4:8-18 (Amplified Bible) - We are hedged in (pressed) on every side [troubled and oppressed in every way], but not cramped or crushed; we suffer embarrassments and are perplexed and unable to find a way out, but not driven to despair;