Death... Not the End

Death…

Something that I don’t like to even think about. No I am not referring to my death. I think of all the deaths that one has to face, the easiest to probably face is one’s own death. It’s the death of people who are close to us that is hard to deal with. Yesterday one of my uncles died. And this has left me feeling real reflective from the time I heard about it. I miss him but I am so glad that I will meet him one day in heaven. It’s not the end. It’s not over.

We all deal with losing relatives, friends. The deaths that affected me were my grandparents, my beautiful cousin Olive, a missionary who was more family, Uncle Reuben, my father in law and yesterday my Periappa (Uncle).

When my grandparents passed away, I guess I was a little girl. I loved them a lot. My fondest memory of my grandfather is dancing with him while he sang this song that went ‘thatha thatha’. He danced with us, sang with us, took us to the village lake and played with us in the water, he would sit and try to read our English Bibles with the very little English he knew while my sister and I sat on both his side helping and correcting him. Thatha was one big sweetheart. He was just an adorable man. My grandmother was more of a silent and strong woman. I remember lots of women coming home to speak to her and she always had this elderly air around her. People were always very respectful and came to her for advices. I was a little girl when they passed away. Though I did feel sad, more than feeling sad that I lost them I felt sad for my Mom. I knew and understood she had lost her parents and I felt really sad for her. I learnt a lot from my grandparents. I don’t remember them ever advising me but their lives were advices I will carry with me all my life.

The next time I had to deal with a close one’s death was when my cousin Olive died. She was a beautiful little girl. She was 7 years old when she died of cancer. She just had this energetic, chirpy, happy air about her. My fondest memory of her is of the day we were both walking hand in hand, down this big ground where a prayer meeting was about to be held. We were both dressed in yellow that day. I remember I had told her that if we both wear the same colour and walk together, everyone would know we are sisters. And so that day when I wore yellow, she wore yellow too. And she made sure she was with me the whole day. As we walked together towards the stage on that ground, she turned to me and said – Didi, everyone will know we are sisters right? Aww… She was the sweetest little girl. I remember her dancing and singing this song in Hindi which in English would mean – ‘One day I will turn into a butterfly and fly away. I will show my colours to everyone and fly away. I was a worm (caterpillar) which was hiding and crawling but God made me fly and surprised me. I fluttered my wings and flew away. I became an example (of what God could do) to everyone and flew away’ And flew away she did… Her life was definitely an example of what God could do. Her life still speaks…

I have a picture of Uncle Reuben in which I am so little that I don’t remember it being taken. My sister and I are standing on both his sides and laughing while he is tickling us. He was with us from such an early stage that to us he was family. He left the place where my parents worked and continued his ministry elsewhere but again came back to where my parents were about a year before he passed away. He was a very healthy man who took good care of himself saying – ‘I have to live long so that I can bring many souls to God’. He had a road accident and became unconscious and died later in the hospital. My fondest memory of him is of course that picture I have of him with my sister and me. Yes, I realise I don’t remember that picture being taken but yet. Uncle Reuben left behind a beautiful family who have so cheerfully pressed on. It broke their hearts and shattered their lives but they have picked up the pieces and moved on. I haven’t ever heard them complain, even with tears running down their faces.  Uncle’s life will always be a testimony. And his family stands as a powerful testimony of strength and trust in God.

When my father in law passed away, I didn’t have time to think or grieve about my loss. I had to make sure I was completely there for my husband, to comfort him, strengthen him, pray for him and be there for him. I put the fact that I was pregnant at that time and my grief and loss on the backburner to try and make things as good as possible for my husband. My father in law was a very humble and friendly man. He was lavish with his praises and compliments. I remember one day I made mutton curry for him and I remember him saying that that was the best mutton curry he had ever had. Those words had quite an effect on me especially since I wasn’t all that great a cook those days. He loved when I made tandoori chicken and he made sure he told quite a lot of people about it. Even today when I sometimes speak to people he knew, they tell me – your father in law loved your tandoori chicken. My fondest memory of my father in law would be the day after my wedding day. I was at my in laws and a little nervous as Jerry had gone out for some work and I was alone. I wasn’t feeling well too. I was sitting in one of the rooms wondering what I was supposed to do and my father in law walked in. He had a pill in one hand and a glass of water in the other. He gave them to me saying – I heard you weren’t feeling well. That was very fatherly.  Another time I remember I had just put brown highlights on my hair and he saw them and said to make sure I oil my hair regularly as they were turning brown. I explained to him that I had actually colored my hair. He laughed and said - You actually paid them to do this to you?? Something about him that is really challenging was his immense will power. He was an amazing man.

My Periappa passed away yesterday. I still cannot believe he is gone. I always used to playfully fight with him and bully him. He had a shop which sold all kinds of things and I would just walk in and take anything I liked. I remember telling him I’d take care of his shop when he had some work and actually sitting there eating the sweets and ice creams in the shop. He made awesome brinjal side dish. The last time I spoke to him was when he was in the hospital and he wanted to know when I was coming to India. I told him that maybe around December and he said oh maybe I will be gone by then. I told him to stay alive telling him I wanted his brinjal side dish and he had to make them for me when I came home. He laughed when I said that, like he usually laughs for most things I say. Periappa was such a good man. I haven’t ever heard him talk rudely to anyone or even in a high volume. He was very mature and very refined in the way he handled any situation. I still can’t believe he is gone. I remember telling my cousin who was crying over the phone that when a good man dies, he leaves behind a wealth of blessings, which will be for his children. And Periappa was a very good man. He wasn’t a rich man and yet he gave lavishly. He partially sponsored me through college. It’s very rare to see people to whom money doesn’t matter much and Periappa was one such man. My fondest memory of my Periappa is his smiling happy welcoming face. The shop is in front of the house so when I visit them it’s the shop I see first. I would put my head out to try and look for Periappa in the shop and the moment he saw me, he would give his happy big smile while he continued attending to the customers. It’s hard to even think that he’s gone. And I am happy I will see him again in heaven. One day before he passed away he told a couple of people – Tomorrow I am going Home. And the next day He did go Home to be with Jesus. He was at peace knowing where he was going. Heaven must have thrown a really BIG welcome party for someone like him. I think they must still be celebrating.

It’s not the end. It’s not over. I WILL see them again in Heaven.

I am glad I have accepted Jesus as my personal saviour because of which I am covered by His blood. I have the joy of knowing where I am going. The joy of knowing I will see the ones I have lost, again.

It’s always exciting to think about the day we go to heaven and what is more exciting is when I think of the loved ones who have already gone there and who I expectantly wait to see again. Heaven is going to be beautiful with all the beautiful people who have gone there ahead of us. And though there are times I feel sad and miss them I remind myself that it’s not the end. It’s not over…

Psalm 116:15 - Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his faithful servants.

1 Thessalonians 4: 13 – 14 - Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.