The Formula of Forgiving.............
I'm sure most of us, humans that we are, find it sometimes very hard to forgive certain people. Most of us have atleast 1 or 2 people who we probably haven't forgiven yet. Its not that we don't want to forgive. We want to and keep praying hard and trying hard but somehow the forgiveness hasn't happened as yet.
About 4 years back, my family had to go through a real bad phase. It was a very sad time and I felt so bad and helpless at the fact that I could not do anything for them. I did pray a lot about it but God was silent. He had allowed this in our lives with a specific purpose and He wanted us to go through this. The phase eventually did pass, and we are all happy today. But there was a person who actually was behind all that had happened to us and I was always bitter about her and was just unable to forgive her. This lady probably did what she did, because she was ignorant. Later on she was sorry about what had happened and had long since reconciled with my parents and my sister. Though I did sit and talk with her and was friendly outwardly, I hadn't forgiven her. The anger and bitterness still remained.
I have always tried and always prayed. Everytime I heard a sermon on forgiveness I would feel guilty and then make a firm resolve that I would forgive and believe firmly that I had completely forgiven. But then after sometime I would find that the bitterness, the anger and the hurt was still there. I have tried so much. I have even tried sitting and chatting with her and though things were very fine on the outside, I knew very well that I hadn't yet forgiven her from my heart.
That was Till last night.......... Till I discovered the formula of forgiving ......... :)
Last weekend I had been to one of my best friends house. Usually whenever I am at her place, we sit and chat till late night. While we were chatting last night, she revealed to me this beautiful formula. I could see her excitement as she shared this, which proved that this had worked for her.
When someone has hurt us very badly, there is both anger and hurt. We would know that we have fully forgiven the person when the anger goes. When there is no more anger at the person, we can be sure we have completely forgiven.
My friend taught me something very beautiful. She asked me if I had at any time made a decision or resolved in my heart that I would completely let go and forgive the person. I said that I had done that many times. She said - Sometimes we make a resolve to forgive but then after some time or some days, the angry and bitter thoughts are back and we begin to doubt if we have actually forgiven and realise the anger is still there and that forgiveness is yet to happen. She advised me that the next time you get the angry and the bitter thoughts about the person, just shout out the same resolve that you had taken when you decided to forgive and let go. Proclaim the resolve till the angry thoughts go away and keep at it. Keep proclaiming the resolve every time tempted to get angry and bitter.
The more you keep at it, the stronger the resolve and weaker the anger and bitterness. This goes on till the anger is completely gone. Sometimes it may be hard but God sees our sincerity and He is definitely there to help us.
Wow!!! After she told me this, I was just quiet for a minute, while the truth sank in. It was so easy. Just make a firm resolve and I didn't have to resolve again and again. I just needed to remind myself and the devil about the resolve at the right time again and again till the forgiveness was complete and I was truly free.
The only person we hurt by holding onto the bitterness and anger is ourselves. This lady I was talking about was walking about free, while I was walking about in bondage.
Just proclaim your resolve. Block out the anger and bitterness and proclaim your freedom.
The Formula to Forgiving leads to Forgiving...... And
Forgiving leads to Freedom!!!
Mark 11:25 - And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." [ Some manuscripts sins. 26 But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your sins.]
Colossians 3:13 - Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Matthew 6:14 - For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
Matthew 6:15 - But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Matthew 18:35 - "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."
Matthew 6:12 - Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Smile at the Storm - 6th Dec 2006
Last weekend a friend of mine who now lives in Washington, USA, called up for a casual chat and we were just chatting about what was going on in each other's lives. She shared an experience or rather a kinda lesson learnt which I found real interesting. She said that sometime back there was heavy rains in the place where she lived and because of that there was a huge traffic jam. People were just stuck on the road for hours together and there were people who reached home at 4am next morning.
My friend had actually rented a car that day and she had to go to the car rental office to return the car. One of the people from the rental office were supposed to drop her back home but because of this traffic jam they could not get a person to drop her right away and she had to wait for some time at the car rental office. Right from school days, she's been a very very organised person and very punctual. She's always on time and its hard to see her lazying around or just simply sitting somewhere doing nothing. I didn't find it surprising when she said that she found it very irritating to be stuck there at the rental office, not able to do anything, but wait till things got a little better and someone could drop her home.
She said that while she was waiting there, irritated and angry and wondering when she'd get home, she was just listening to the people at the rental office chatting with each other. Due to the rain and the cold weather, there was heavy mist and the road was quite slippery and skiddy, resulting in quite some accidents happening. The people at the rental office were discussing about these accidents when one of the guys who worked there said this. He said that the only way during this time to avoid accidents was to keep smiling. He said that if people tried rushing to get home or were angry or upset or irritated, it would just increase the chances of an accident happening. But if the person went through the mist and the storm and the rain, smiling, he would be safe. He said that the situation was so bad that getting upset only hurt the person itself and would not help better the situation in any way. And Smiling would help the person relax and concentrate better and hence guarantee safety.
When my friend heard this she realised what the guy had just said did make a lot of sense. She said that after that she just relaxed and instead of sitting there angry, she decided to make the best use of the time while she was there. She started admiring the scenery around - the mist, the rain.... She also spent the time calling up her family back in India and chatting up with them and then calling up her sisters. By the time she reached home, it was late night but she said that 'smiling' through the situation did help her. No matter what, she had to face the mist, the rain, the traffic jam. But going through it smiling, brought her out relaxed and happy whereas had she stayed irritated, she would have reached home tired and bitter.
This did teach me a huge lesson. I had been running around, for the last few days, trying to get some important work done and nothing seemed to be happening. I was getting upset and angry and really frustrated and discouraged. This taught me that I could not help better the situation in anyway by getting grumpy and I was just tiring myself with the way I was trying to face things. I keep reminding myself about the guy at the car rental who said 'Smiling' takes you through safely.
One of my friends has a huge poster in her room reading - 'I don't like people who don't smile'. Whenever I see that I can't help smiling. There are situations where we are completely helpless and worrying about them only brings a headache. Smile through. God loves smiling people. Smiling through a storm shows we completely trust God and know that He is in control.
Here's a song I learnt at School:
With Christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm
Smile at the storm
Smile at the storm
With Christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm
As we go sailing home.
Proverbs 15:13 - A glad heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is broken. (AMP)
Proverbs 17:22 - A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones. (AMP)
My friend had actually rented a car that day and she had to go to the car rental office to return the car. One of the people from the rental office were supposed to drop her back home but because of this traffic jam they could not get a person to drop her right away and she had to wait for some time at the car rental office. Right from school days, she's been a very very organised person and very punctual. She's always on time and its hard to see her lazying around or just simply sitting somewhere doing nothing. I didn't find it surprising when she said that she found it very irritating to be stuck there at the rental office, not able to do anything, but wait till things got a little better and someone could drop her home.
She said that while she was waiting there, irritated and angry and wondering when she'd get home, she was just listening to the people at the rental office chatting with each other. Due to the rain and the cold weather, there was heavy mist and the road was quite slippery and skiddy, resulting in quite some accidents happening. The people at the rental office were discussing about these accidents when one of the guys who worked there said this. He said that the only way during this time to avoid accidents was to keep smiling. He said that if people tried rushing to get home or were angry or upset or irritated, it would just increase the chances of an accident happening. But if the person went through the mist and the storm and the rain, smiling, he would be safe. He said that the situation was so bad that getting upset only hurt the person itself and would not help better the situation in any way. And Smiling would help the person relax and concentrate better and hence guarantee safety.
When my friend heard this she realised what the guy had just said did make a lot of sense. She said that after that she just relaxed and instead of sitting there angry, she decided to make the best use of the time while she was there. She started admiring the scenery around - the mist, the rain.... She also spent the time calling up her family back in India and chatting up with them and then calling up her sisters. By the time she reached home, it was late night but she said that 'smiling' through the situation did help her. No matter what, she had to face the mist, the rain, the traffic jam. But going through it smiling, brought her out relaxed and happy whereas had she stayed irritated, she would have reached home tired and bitter.
This did teach me a huge lesson. I had been running around, for the last few days, trying to get some important work done and nothing seemed to be happening. I was getting upset and angry and really frustrated and discouraged. This taught me that I could not help better the situation in anyway by getting grumpy and I was just tiring myself with the way I was trying to face things. I keep reminding myself about the guy at the car rental who said 'Smiling' takes you through safely.
One of my friends has a huge poster in her room reading - 'I don't like people who don't smile'. Whenever I see that I can't help smiling. There are situations where we are completely helpless and worrying about them only brings a headache. Smile through. God loves smiling people. Smiling through a storm shows we completely trust God and know that He is in control.
Here's a song I learnt at School:
With Christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm
Smile at the storm
Smile at the storm
With Christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm
As we go sailing home.
Proverbs 15:13 - A glad heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is broken. (AMP)
Proverbs 17:22 - A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones. (AMP)
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