Formula of Forgiving

The Formula of Forgiving.............

I'm sure most of us, humans that we are, find it sometimes very hard to forgive certain people. Most of us have atleast 1 or 2 people who we probably haven't forgiven yet. Its not that we don't want to forgive. We want to and keep praying hard and trying hard but somehow the forgiveness hasn't happened as yet.


About 4 years back, my family had to go through a real bad phase. It was a very sad time and I felt so bad and helpless at the fact that I could not do anything for them. I did pray a lot about it but God was silent. He had allowed this in our lives with a specific purpose and He wanted us to go through this. The phase eventually did pass, and we are all happy today. But there was a person who actually was behind all that had happened to us and I was always bitter about her and was just unable to forgive her. This lady probably did what she did, because she was ignorant. Later on she was sorry about what had happened and had long since reconciled with my parents and my sister. Though I did sit and talk with her and was friendly outwardly, I hadn't forgiven her. The anger and bitterness still remained.

I have always tried and always prayed. Everytime I heard a sermon on forgiveness I would feel guilty and then make a firm resolve that I would forgive and believe firmly that I had completely forgiven. But then after sometime I would find that the bitterness, the anger and the hurt was still there. I have tried so much. I have even tried sitting and chatting with her and though things were very fine on the outside, I knew very well that I hadn't yet forgiven her from my heart.

That was Till last night.......... Till I discovered the formula of forgiving ......... :)

Last weekend I had been to one of my best friends house. Usually whenever I am at her place, we sit and chat till late night. While we were chatting last night, she revealed to me this beautiful formula. I could see her excitement as she shared this, which proved that this had worked for her.

When someone has hurt us very badly, there is both anger and hurt. We would know that we have fully forgiven the person when the anger goes. When there is no more anger at the person, we can be sure we have completely forgiven.

My friend taught me something very beautiful. She asked me if I had at any time made a decision or resolved in my heart that I would completely let go and forgive the person. I said that I had done that many times. She said - Sometimes we make a resolve to forgive but then after some time or some days, the angry and bitter thoughts are back and we begin to doubt if we have actually forgiven and realise the anger is still there and that forgiveness is yet to happen. She advised me that the next time you get the angry and the bitter thoughts about the person, just shout out the same resolve that you had taken when you decided to forgive and let go. Proclaim the resolve till the angry thoughts go away and keep at it. Keep proclaiming the resolve every time tempted to get angry and bitter.

The more you keep at it, the stronger the resolve and weaker the anger and bitterness. This goes on till the anger is completely gone. Sometimes it may be hard but God sees our sincerity and He is definitely there to help us.

Wow!!! After she told me this, I was just quiet for a minute, while the truth sank in. It was so easy. Just make a firm resolve and I didn't have to resolve again and again. I just needed to remind myself and the devil about the resolve at the right time again and again till the forgiveness was complete and I was truly free.

The only person we hurt by holding onto the bitterness and anger is ourselves. This lady I was talking about was walking about free, while I was walking about in bondage.

Just proclaim your resolve. Block out the anger and bitterness and proclaim your freedom.

The Formula to Forgiving leads to Forgiving...... And
Forgiving leads to Freedom!!!


Mark 11:25 - And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." [ Some manuscripts sins. 26 But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your sins.]

Colossians 3:13 - Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Matthew 6:14 - For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

Matthew 6:15 - But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Matthew 18:35 - "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

Matthew 6:12 - Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.